The Crazy Life, Part 1

So far this semester, I have spent one weekend in Clemson. And I won't be in Clemson during a weekend for the next month. 

Overcommitting is kind of a way of life for me.
I know it isn't the healthiest lifestyle, but it is so hard for me to say no.
I'm working on it.

I'm trying to stay on top of the crazy by posting mid-way through while simultaneously taking a break from schoolwork, also known as procrastinating.

Two weekends ago I got to go home and help lead a Disciple Now weekend at my church back home.

I have grown up going to dnow weekends and those times have never failed to be a huge source of growth for me. Helping lead a group for the second year in a row was quite the treat. 

The theme for the competition aspect was centered around Hunger Games, and you'll never guess who was Effie Trinket. 

In case you can't tell, that's my mother...and she killed it. 

Who knew her acting skills were so on point?!

I had the eighth grade girls and I got to co-lead with my wonderful friend and fellow Tiger, Taylor. 

I am increasingly thankful for her and her love for the Lord. Leading with her was awesome. 

The group activity Saturday was rec games, and rec means face paint.

 I love face paint. 

I spent a large portion of my summer painting my face purple, so I was in my element. 

Before heading to the rec fields, the girls played a few intense rounds of bingo. 

Then we went into the yard and took an intense picture. 

And then got in the car and took a selfie. 

Eighth grade girls love taking pictures, but I do too so it worked out great.

I was also able to get a sibling picture with the best brother around. 

This kid who is slowly becoming a man cracks me up, and I love him a whole lot. 

Sadly he isn't a huge fan of being in pictures, but he is consistently gracious in taking them with me. 

There is a challenge every year amongst the different grades. This year the challenge was to dress up the leaders as tributes to enter "the Capitol." So basically that meant our eighth grade girls could do whatever they wanted to our physical appearance. 

The result was...interesting...

It's a good thing we love them!

It's okay though, because we weren't the only ridiculous looking ones...not by a long shot. 

The Lord was faithful this weekend to provide a group of God-loving girls who were drama-free, at least this weekend. Having no drama was a direct answer to prayer. 

There is something unexplainable about getting to walk through gospel truths with younger girls who are in places that I was not too long ago. I pray that they would continue to seek God through any drama that may come their way, and that they would love one another well with the love of Christ. 

After a week spent in Clemson, I loaded back into a car with some of the best people I know and drove to Birmingham, Alabama. 

We went to volunteer at the Student Life Conference. After I got back, I was beyond exhausted, but the time spent with people near to my heart was definitely worth the time and energy spent. 

It was cool to do Student Life things with Student Life people in real world settings. I got to spend evenings sitting in people's actual kitchens in their actual homes where they live every day. 

And it was awesome. 

Now I'm back in Clemson, but just finished packing to leave again. The days here are busy too, but are filled with great friends, which makes the school part bearable. Some examples...

Anatomy with Gracie! We both came into class repping Student Life. I am so thankful to have a class with this dear friend. Even if her laughter does draw attention to us in a huge lecture hall. 

My gratitude for these two is incomprehensible. They encourage me when I need it the most, and the way they spur me on in the gospel is unmatched by anyone around.

Well, except for this one. Her commitment to all of our sanctification is incredible.

 Days spent with her can be tough, because she pushes me places I never thought I could go, but every time I walk away from time with her I am more thankful for her in my life. 

And I recently got to spend some catch up time with girls from 7B, my freshmen hall. I am also extremely thankful for these girls in my life, and wish I saw them more. 

As a side note, when I got up to take this picture, they all excitedly asked if it was for "the blog." They're ridiculous.

Many of my days are spent watching children. Clearly a lot of girls. 

It feels like good mom training. Hopefully one day I'll get to put it to good use.

I went to my first engagement party, which is weird but also exciting. 

I am thankful for the sweet times in other places, but it definitely makes me miss Clemson because I  love this school. I'll be thankful for the time when I can take a breath, but until then I'm pressing on. 

Miscellaneous Break Activities

After I got back from my Boone trip, I had approximately a day and a half at home before packing into the minivan with my family and driving to Texas.

I love going to Texas. My mom's whole side of the family lives there, and we don't get to see them very often, so it tends to be a sweet time.

My grandmother lives on a farm. 

She and my aunt are gradually adding more and more farm animals. 

This guy isn't really a farm animal, but he's a bear of a dog that thinks he's a lap dog. 

He crawled back and forth from mom's lap to Josh's for about five hilarious minutes. 

One of my favorite parts about Texas is the quality time I get to log with these two little guys. I'm holding Michael, who just turned 4 (pictures to come), and Josh is holding Cam, who will be 6 in February. 

The children's ministry at the church had a Christmas play that was based off of Frozen. 

It was super cute, and these guys made it all the cuter.  

The days spent in Texas were filled with various activities and game playing. 

Cam is smart as a whip and wanted to play all the games with the "big kids." 

He held his own, too. 

After we finished the gingerbread house the icing was used for some more...well, creative purposes. 

And then Michael turned 4. 

Then, two days later, we celebrated another birthday. 

One that changed the course of history. 

Oh how grateful I am, everyday, that God came to this earth to save sinners like me. 

We give gifts because we've been given the greatest gift of all in Christ. 

With a family 17 strong, that process took most of the day, but it was fun and time well spent. 

It was hard to leave, but good to be home again after 16 hours on the road. 

After a day or two at home, I drove to Columbia for the evening to go to the Riverbank Zoo and see the lights with some friends. This was the first time I'd been to the zoo in ages.

Sadly since it was dark and cold, not many of the animals were out and most of the indoor exhibits were closed. But we got to see this Koala bear with it's adorable baby (look closely under its arm!) and a goat with a hilarious underbite, alongside some other, not-as-picture-worthy animals. 

The lights were awesome. 

So was the company. 

Then, New Years Eve rolled around. 

I'm not sure what the deal is, but I did NOT want that ball to drop. Maybe it's the whole turning 20 thing, but I just feel like life is moving way too fast. Yet other days I feel like it's moving too slow. 

Who knows.

Maybe I just wasn't ready for the things I know this year will hold, and even more unprepared for the things in 2015 that are unknown. 

But amid the hesitancy and uncertainty, I was glad to bring in the New Year with these three.

The thing I really love about long breaks is that I get to spend time catching up with friends. 

And apparently go rock climbing. 

Despite the picture, I really did make it to the top (most of the times)

Here's some big news: Josh got a job at Chick-fil-a!

I was ecstatic that I was still home to see him at work, and I think I was successful at making him feel somewhat uncomfortable. Sadly he isn't easily embarrassed... 

And then, before I knew it, it was time to head back to school. 

I was ready to get back, knowing I'd be returning home soon enough, but it was still tough. 

For the future held hard things, different things. 

But I'm thankful for the ways that God displays His beautiful might and control.

This was on the way home...

...and this was the first day of class. 

From sunrise to sunset He is good. 

So far second semester of sophomore year is great. 

Life, however, is definitely hard. 

My current state is one of decision making. 

Summer plans. That boy. Initiating hard conversations.

So often I want to know the answer. My soul pounds its proverbial fists on the ground, crying out for specific instructions so that I can make the right decision, so that I don't mess up, don't disappoint.

Because my heart is one that aims to please. 

I sinfully want to please people, but I also want to please the Father. This desire often drives me to a subconscious life of works-based righteousness and the gift of grace gets shoved in a dark, forgotten corner. So I go searching for "the answer." I ask sisters in Christ and browse article after article from trusted sources. 

In this process, the Lord is forever faithful to reveal needed truth.

 Here are some heart-pricking truths I read on Desiring God:

"God sometimes allows us to wrestle and wait for clarity. Why? Because the motives and affections of our hearts are revealed in decisions that require discernment, whether simple and spontaneous or difficult and deliberate...What matters most to God is not how fast something gets done but whether or not we are learning to love and trust Him supremely...Every difficulty in discerning what He wants us to do is designed to increase our trust in Him and ultimately our love for Him."