Halfway through

I am officially halfway through college and I really can't believe it. Not so much because "time is going by so fast" - although it is - but more so because I did not think I would make it to this point. But more on that later...here are the events that filled the end of spring semester 2015. 

Crosspoint held an Interfaith Dialogue with the Muslim Student Association (MSA). During this dialogue, three questions were posed, and each side had to answer those questions based on what their religion believed. Bottom line, the gospel was shared and students from all nations got to hear it! Emily and I had a great conversation with one of our Chinese friends about the gospel after the dialogue, and she had all kinds of questions. It was a great night all around!

Speaking of Emily...her parents came to town and took us to lunch at Smokin' Pig. It was my first time ever eating there...

...and I was not disappointed! 

It was awesome to get to know her parents and to hang out with sweet friends. 

One day we went to this random part of Lake Hartwell and hung out for the day. Sadly it was too cold to swim, but we played frisbee, football, spikeball, and even kayaked some.

These are my favorite kinds of days in Clemson. Well, other than game days. 

College visits!

It's crazy how many people from my home church came to Clemson for school. It's always good to gather together and share a meal. Everyone has influence in different areas of campus. I'm thankful for the way that the Lord has equipped us through the student ministry at FBCFM and how He continues to use us for His glory in a new place. 

Hope for Clemson!

This is where the church goes out into the community and serves in various ways. 

This is basically what I spent last summer doing with Student Life as a mission site coordinator, so it was like a little taste of home for me. 

I spent the morning painting this building with some friends. 

And I loved every second of it!

Later that same day was the Spring Game. 

My mom came down for the weekend, and I was so glad to see her. I love that woman. 

And this happened...

I almost never take pictures with "celebs" but Jenna quickly convinced me to and I'm glad she did. 

As you can see, the Spring Game was well attended this year. 

Go Tigers!

The annual Christmas tree burning cookout had to be moved inside because of the rain, but it was still a really great night. Beforehand, by CP group met to make desserts. 

We made cookie dough-oreo-brownies. I'm pretty sure we won. 

The only not so great part about that night was that Min-Young sprained her ankle while playing spikeball. She has a pretty high pain tolerance, and couldn't walk on it. Some nursing students advised that we just go ahead and take her to the ER, so Jenna and I did. 

It wasn't too late of a night, and it was a fun, college adventure. 

There was also a guy in the waiting room that had taken a little too much meth (that's what the cops told us) and he was acting all kinds of crazy, so that was interesting. 

Crosspoint held a Hot Pot Dinner. 

I had no idea what I was getting into, I just knew a lot of my friends from the D.C. trip would be there, and I wanted to see them!

Some of the Crosspoint Staff went to a really authentic Chinese Market in Atlanta, GA to get all the food. Most of the items that were on the table I had never seen before. 

I was a little hesitant going in, but as things got going, my friend Stella helped me and I started trying stuff, and I loved it. 

I left there stuffed. 

D.C. friends!!

I convinced these lovely ladies to go to the Tiger Roar concert with me. Tiger Roar is Clemson's all men a cappella group and they are amazing. 

The concert was incredible, as was anticipated. 

We had a Summer LINK briefing lunch after church. I got to meet with most of my team that I'll be going to India with. It was cool to talk about how God led us to this place, and what we expected. 

So Josh went to prom. I just had to go home and see him, so the weekend before finals I took a day trip home. He's such a stud, and he's growing up WAY too fast. 

After we dropped him off to do his thing, I had lunch with these Priddy people. 

Mom had to chaperone the prom for the high school where she works, so dad and I took off to go ride some roller coasters. I love spending time with him. He is one of the goofiest people that I know, and he makes me roll with laughter. Times spent with him are always good times. I definitely inherited some of his silliness, and he brings it out in me like no other. 

Finals week. 

Some things that made it bearable...

I got to cross off a Clemson bucket list item: Tour the Tillman Bell Tower. 

My CP group met for one last time. 

We devoured some Pazookie and just had good fellowship. 

I'm so so thankful for this group and the privilege I had of doing life with them this year!

This girl. Library struggles with her. Study breaks to talk about life. Sharing hearts. 

She is one of the most loving and consequently one of the most loved people that I know. 

Words really can't describe how thankful I am for this selfless sister. 

So, as I said before, I almost didn't make it through this semester. 

School has always fit my try-hard, task completing personality well. All throughout grade school, and so far through college, I've kept up with my work and have made good grades. I've always felt on top of school, like I could do it. And therefore I add all kinds of other things in my life and end up juggling more things than any human should be able to, yet I still could. This has definitely been a source of pride in my life. And you know what the Lord does when I'm prideful? He kills it in me. 

This semester was hard. I took on more than I could handle, thinking I could do it, of course. I slowly was unable to juggle all of the things in my life, and I let them crash down around me because I just couldn't juggle them anymore. I came to a place where I felt like a failure. The Lord brought me to the end of myself, to a point that it was clearly impossible for me to do or be anything good or successful on my own. In that place, He also showed me that I had been living a sinful try-hard life, which was like adding insult to injury. 

This is something I told a friend: 

"I've realized that the harder I try to be good and be close, the further I get, the more self-pity I have, and the more 'blah'-like I feel...in recent days, I've really had to own up to the fact that I'm a mess. I say it a lot, but most days I don't believe it really, which is hard to admit...but recently it's been unavoidable. Accepting that I'm a sinner, accepting that I've been trying to earn righteousness, makes me feel disgusting. But then it makes it even sweeter to realize that Jesus knows these things about me and worse, and yet He still came. He still died. He has given me His righteousness. God sees me as perfect even when I am at my very worst. And that just makes me sing and have joy in the brokenness. The brokenness doesn't go away, but it's okay because someone loves me in spite of it, and one day He will take it away completely. The Lord is bombarding me from every angle that the truth about me is that Christ's righteousness is mine, and that will remain true about me regardless of how I feel. That is releasing me from my try-hard flesh and consequently from the 'blah.' I just have to do the hard work of reminding myself." 

And graciously, apart from anything good in me, the Lord did indeed bring me through the end of the semester, and I'm officially a junior in college. 

Someone asked me what the Lord taught me this year. My mind spun and I thought, "there's no way I can narrow down all the things God has taught me into one lesson." But as I talked through the things I had learned each semester, I did see a theme. 

I haven't experienced life-threatening situations, but I've experienced pain that my heart felt fully. Different kinds of pain, in different areas of life. But each time, I have been able to be thankful for excruciating pain, because the Lord brought me closer to Himself every. time. Out of each season of pain, I grew to love and trust my beautiful, wonderful, and holy God more. So really, truly, I'm thankful for the pain. 

I'm thankful for this school. I'm thankful for the people here. I'm thankful for the circumstances I have experienced and the situations that are yet to come. Overall, I am thankful for a God Who loves me way beyond what I deserve and is in control of it all. 

So bring it on.